I hate your face
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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