you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
