dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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