I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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