I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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