i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your penis caused this!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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