you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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