This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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