There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
