i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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