she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
