i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
