Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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