like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
