Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
