Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
