at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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