absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
