I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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