So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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