look no pants
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
