It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize