Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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