Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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