Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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