This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
