you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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