So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
