He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
