One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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