Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
