Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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