idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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