Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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