I think my vagina is haunted
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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