when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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