Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
