is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
