This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Are we still banned from the library?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
