and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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