The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
