i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
