I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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