she woke up with a sticky ear
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
