So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
