You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
