I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
