I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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