All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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