she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
