Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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