I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we're making bets on your personal life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
