i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
