Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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