how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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