Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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