Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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