dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
