Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
