I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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