fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
