This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
