im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
