would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
