the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
