Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
