just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
