His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize