Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
