I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
