How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
