3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
