I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I touched a dick in church today
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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