I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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