we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize