She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
