omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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