I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
