im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
